Conversation 503: INVENTORY / HJELMDALLERMANN

How to use this page:

This is a listing of every "entry" in a given game conversation as scraped from the game files. Entries often contain written dialogue, as well as conditional logic governing their appearance to the player. They also link to other entries, sometimes automatically and sometimes through player action. This page is best used to search for a specific word or phrase, as following the links in this format can be difficult. For an experience that better accommodates the branching structure of these conversations, see the corresponding interactive page.

Column definitions:

• ID: a numerical index for the entry within this conversation.
• Character: the character speaking or acting.
• Dialogue: prose containing spoken dialogue and other description.
• Conditions: logical checks governing this entry appearing or occurring.
• Links: entries that might follow this one, depending on conditions and player choice. Most links are internal to this conversation, external links to other conversations are marked with the format (conversation ID, entry ID).

ID	Character	Dialogue	Conditions	Links
0	None			1
1	None			79
2	Hjelmdallermann: the Man from Hjelmdall	The cover of this tattered paperback features the Man from Hjelmdall standing atop a pile of bloody corpses. His two zweihänders are crossed over his massive chest in a dramatic 'x', their blades dripping with gore...		10 11
3	You	Read the first couple of pages.		120
4	Hjelmdallermann: the Man from Hjelmdall	The story opens *in media res*. The Man from Hjelmdall and his band of northern *reavers* are in the bowels of an ancient temple, surrounded by an army of gibbering *wights* led by the deathless *necromancer*. One by one the brave northmen fall to the relentless crush of undead, only to join their number as reanimated corpses...		12
5	None			7 3 6
6	You	[Put the book away.]
7	You	Look at the back cover.		8
8	Hjelmdallermann: the Man from Hjelmdall	The back blurb reads: "His latest adventure serves as the perfect introduction to the savage *Hjelmdall Saga*! Meet Man from Hjelmdall, his faithful blood-brother Tyrbald, the noble Lord Wrôthgär, and some of their most fearsome foes yet. For the Northlands! For HJELMDALL!"		83
9	Hjelmdallermann: the Man from Hjelmdall	Behind him rise the harsh snowcapped peaks of his native Northlands. In bold, red letters, the title "Hjelmdallermann: The Man from Hjelmdall" unfurls like a banner. In the foreground, a nearly nude woman lies spread in supplication, her privates strategically covered by her flowing black hair.		62
10	You	Hell yeah.		9
11	You	Seems... over the top?		88
12	Hjelmdallermann: the Man from Hjelmdall	By nightfall only the Man from Hjelmdall and his blood-brother, noble Tyrbald are left standing against the dead horde. "It is an honour to die by your side, brother!" Tyrbald cries as his battle-axe beheads one of their reanimated comrades.		54 55
13	Hjelmdallermann: the Man from Hjelmdall	"*Nein*, Tyrbald!" the Man from Hjelmdall bellows over the army of flesh and bone. "Have courage! For the Northlands... for HJELMDALL!!!" He leaps to the mezzanine to face the black-eyed figure and like a mad ice bear whirling twin *zweihänders* -- *Sturm* and *Drang* -- he ploughs through the ranks of the deathless, surrounding the necromancer...		77
14	Hjelmdallermann: the Man from Hjelmdall	... and with deadly finesse his twin blades scissor the necromancer's head from its body. The undead legions collapse like rag dolls as the dark magic leaves them and the two northmen stand alone in the accursed temple, where the bodies of their lost brothers litter the floors.		15 16
15	You	Skip ahead.		19
16	You	I've read enough. (Close the book.)		18
17	Hjelmdallermann: the Man from Hjelmdall	The Man from Hjelmdall stares at you on the cover, his face fixed in grim resolve.		5
18	None			17
19	Hjelmdallermann: the Man from Hjelmdall	A few chapters later the Man from Hjelmdall and Tyrbald are in a completely different setting, high above an arid desert, riding a pair of gryffins that always seem to appear at narratively convenient moments...		78
20	Hjelmdallermann: the Man from Hjelmdall	The northmen find themselves in the court of a powerful southern king -- *Lord Wrôthgär*. The old king beseeches the Man from Hjelmdall to rid his kingdom of the *Nachtherrer*, a subterranean clan of blind wizards who traded their souls for demonic powers.		21
21	Hjelmdallermann: the Man from Hjelmdall	The Man from Hjelmdall extracts a high price from the desperate king. He asks land for the homeless desert-pygmies living exiled in the kingdom's borderlands. Wrôthgär offers the hand of his eldest daughter instead, but the son of winter does not budge...		22 59 110
22	You	Hold on, why is the Man from Hjelmdall doing any of this?		23
23	Hjelmdallermann: the Man from Hjelmdall	What do you mean?		24 25
24	You	Why is he doing all of this?		26
25	You	Nevermind. (Keep reading.)		40
26	Hjelmdallermann: the Man from Hjelmdall	Because the flame of justice burns bright within his chest. Because above all he's driven to bring honour to the name of his beloved Hjelmdall. Because his noble Katlan blood lusts for glory and conquest. It cannot be denied.		27 28
27	You	Is that all?		29
28	You	Fair enough. Let's get back in there.		40
29	Hjelmdallermann: the Man from Hjelmdall	What do you mean 'is that all'?		30
30	You	Is there anything else to his character?		31
31	Hjelmdallermann: the Man from Hjelmdall	He is the Man from Hjelmdall! Forged in the fury of battle, death was his sire and blood his dam. He had but fourteen winters when he left his frigid homelands in Katla to seek glory and honour. *That* is his character.		67
32	You	Okay, but does he have any *internal* tension?	Variable["inventory.hjelm_concept_inside"] == true	34
33	You	Nevermind, just get to the good part.		96
34	Hjelmdallermann: the Man from Hjelmdall	He is the wildest man alive, the only mortal strong enough to wield the twin-*zweihänders*, *Sturm* and *Drang*, whose names mean 'Storm' and --		35
35	You	Yes, I get that. He's strong and has big swords. But why should I *care* about his character?		36
36	Hjelmdallermann: the Man from Hjelmdall	What are you? A book critic?		57 58 37 38
37	You	No, you're right, let's give this a chance. (Keep reading.)		97
38	You	I don't need sass from a discount paperback. (Close the book.)		39
39	None			17
40	Hjelmdallermann: the Man from Hjelmdall	You skip past a section detailing an elaborate banquet with *many* toasts, as well as the long and perilous journey from Wrôthgär's keep to the ancient forest of *Yezzdor*, where our heroes infiltrate the Nachtherrer's dire-hall...		41
41	Hjelmdallermann: the Man from Hjelmdall	In the centre of the great hall stands a blood altar on which a pair of Nachtherrer are disembowelling a shrieking peasant -- an unholy rite that empowers the Nachtherrer forbidden magic...		98
42	Hjelmdallermann: the Man from Hjelmdall	Swiftly the visitors toss off their cloaks and unsheathe glimmering northern steel -- it's the Man from Hjelmdall and his valiant blood-brother Tyrbald!		43 44
43	You	Well, yeah, who else would it be?		45
44	You	Whoa. I did *not* see that coming!		45
45	Hjelmdallermann: the Man from Hjelmdall	In an instant the Nachtherrer summon a horde of gibbering orkenoids who rush our heroes. The hall fills with the clang of blades and the screams of the dying as the floor goes slick with steaming orkenoid viscera...		76
46	Hjelmdallermann: the Man from Hjelmdall	When the din of battle settles, only the Man from Hjelmdall and Tyrbald remain standing. Exhausted and dripping with the entrails of their foes, the two northmen confront the foul Nachtherrer. The Man from Hjelmdall's sodalite-blue eyes fill with indescribable fury. "For the Northlands!" he cries, rushing headlong into a desperate *mêlée*...		47 48
47	You	You gotta be kidding me...		49
48	You	Cut 'em up, Hjelmdallermann!		116
49	Hjelmdallermann: the Man from Hjelmdall	What?		50
50	You	This is almost exactly the same as the first scene! Even the word *gibbering* is used twice.		51
51	Hjelmdallermann: the Man from Hjelmdall	In the first scene the Man from Hjelmdall fought a powerful necromancer and his army of the dead. Now he's confronting a pair of Nachtherrer and their horde of orkenoid thralls. The two couldn't be further apart.		52 115
52	You	Okay, fine. What happens next?		117
53	None			17
54	You	Wow... they're in trouble now.		13
55	You	I'm too old for this...		13
56	None			5
57	You	Actually yes, I'm a *goddamn* art cop.	IsTHCPresent("art_cop")	103
58	You	I might be.	IsTHCPresent("art_cop") == false	103
59	You	All aboard for slaughter and glory. (Keep reading.)		40
60	Half Light	These images speak to something burbling deep within you: Quick! Find someone or something that needs to be gutted, beheaded, impaled on a spike!		5
61	Conceptualization	Naked women and giant swords -- is that really the best they could come up with? Feels formulaic and... derivative.		5
62	None			63 64
63	None		Variable["whirling.dreamone_apes"]	65
64	None		(Variable["whirling.dreamone_apes"]) == false	60
65	Half Light	These images speak to something burbling deep within you: The primal struggle of a bunch of violent apes just dukin' it out.		5
66	Half Light	That is what you came for, isn't it? A climactic bloodletting, where men are reduced to muscle and fury?		111
67	Conceptualization	He doesn't even have a real name. What is inside this Man? Or is muscle and bone all he is?		68
68	None			69 70
69	None		Variable["inventory.hjelm_concept_inside"]	71
70	None		(Variable["inventory.hjelm_concept_inside"]) == false	32 33
71	Physical Instrument	Hey! Nothing wrong with muscle and bone.		73
72	Conceptualization	The point is: Why should you *care* about this character? Does he have any inner conflicts? Unspoken motivations? A tragic flaw, perhaps?		32 33
73	None			74 75
74	None		Variable["inventory.hjelm_physint_muscle"]	72
75	None		(Variable["inventory.hjelm_physint_muscle"]) == false	32 33
76	Conceptualization	Oh, for fuck's sake...		46
77	Hand/Eye Coordination	The writer has *never* held a sword in their life, let alone two two-handed swords at the same time.		102
78	Conceptualization	This book makes a mockery of the very idea of good plotting, though something tells you coherence was never the point.		20
79	None			80 81
80	None		Variable["inventory.hjelm_firsthub_reached"]	82
81	None		(Variable["inventory.hjelm_firsthub_reached"]) == false	2
82	Hjelmdallermann: the Man from Hjelmdall	The Man from Hjelmdall stares out at you from the cover, his face fixed in grim resolve.		5
83	Perception (Sight)	Below, in smaller font, you see the parenthetical: "(Adapted from: 'Man from Hjelmdall and the Necromancer's Treasure,' 'Man from Hjelmdall: Lord of Wrôthgär,' and 'Man from Hjelmdall: The Curse of Nachtherrer.')"		84
84	None			85 86
85	None		Variable["inventory.hjelm_perception_font"]	87
86	None		(Variable["inventory.hjelm_perception_font"]) == false	100
87	Logic	A brazen attempt to bilk fans for more money by splicing together old stories under a new title.		93
88	Hjelmdallermann: the Man from Hjelmdall	Behind him rise the harsh snowcapped peaks of his native Northlands. In bold, red letters, the title "Hjelmdallermann: The Man from Hjelmdall" unfurls like a banner. In the foreground, a nearly nude woman lies spread in supplication, her privates strategically covered by her flowing black hair.		99
89	You	The publishers must have a dim view of their readership.		91
90	You	Where there's a demand, there's always the supply. Nothing wrong with that.		92
91	Logic	Their main concern is the continuation of the franchise, not making literary history.		56
92	Logic	People find comfort in familiarity, remembering old experiences, looking at old photos, reading old stories.		101
93	None			94 95
94	None		Variable["inventory.hjelm_logic_reusing_material"]	89 90
95	None		(Variable["inventory.hjelm_logic_reusing_material"]) == false	56
96	None			40
97	None			40
98	Hjelmdallermann: the Man from Hjelmdall	As the vile ceremony ends, the sound of steel unsheathing draws the Nachtherrers' attention to a pair of cloaked figures standing in the doorway...		66
99	Electrochemistry	Oh! This seems interesting...		61
100	None			5
101	Conceptualization	What better place to escape than past?		56
102	Logic	It is physically impossible for a human being to effectively dual-wield *zweihänder* swords in any kind of real-life combat situation.		14
103	Hjelmdallermann: the Man from Hjelmdall	Enough! You're ruining the pacing of the story. Now where did you leave off? Ah, yes...		106
104	Conceptualization	What pacing?!		105
105	None			40
106	None			107 108
107	None		Variable["inventory.hjelm_concept_inside"]	104
108	None		(Variable["inventory.hjelm_concept_inside"]) == false	105
109	None			17
110	You	That's enough of Man from Hjelmdall for me. (Close the book.)		109
111	None			112 113
112	None		Variable["doomed.bookstore_hjelmdallerman_halfligt_muscle_and_fury"]	114
113	None		(Variable["doomed.bookstore_hjelmdallerman_halfligt_muscle_and_fury"]) == false	42
114	Half Light	No, beautiful naked people fucking in the bushes is what you came for. Sweat, cocks and and titties please!		42
115	You	Nah, that's just too silly for my taste. (Close the book.)		53
116	Hjelmdallermann: the Man from Hjelmdall	He probably is, but you can't be sure, cause this one ends in a cliffhanger and a footnote, saying: To be continued in 'Hjelmdallermann at the Gates of Tomorrow'. Coming soon to your local bookstore.		132
117	Hjelmdallermann: the Man from Hjelmdall	An excellent question. One easily answered by purchasing the next thrilling chapter in the Hjelmdallerman saga: 'Hjelmdallermann at the Gates of Tomorrow.' The last page of this one merely reads: 'To be continued...'		126
118	Logic	Considering the sheer amount of different Hjelmdallermann books out there it's very unlikely you're ever gonna find the sequel.		119
119	None			17
120	None			121 122
121	None		Variable["XP.hjelmdallerman_suffered_through_the_whole_book"]	123
122	None		(Variable["XP.hjelmdallerman_suffered_through_the_whole_book"]) == false	4
123	Hjelmdallermann: the Man from Hjelmdall	You know the story by heart at this point. Nothing new or remarkable catches your eye.		124
124	None			5
125	Logic	Considering the sheer amount of different Hjelmdallermann books out there it's very unlikely you're ever gonna find the sequel.		119
126	None			127 128
127	None		Variable["inventory.hjelm_logic_reusing_material"]	125
128	None		(Variable["inventory.hjelm_logic_reusing_material"]) == false	118
129	None			17
130	Logic	Considering the sheer amount of different Hjelmdallermann books out there it's very unlikely you're ever gonna find the sequel.		129
131	Logic	Considering the sheer amount of different Hjelmdallermann books out there it's very unlikely you're ever gonna find the sequel.		129
132	None			133 134
133	None		Variable["inventory.hjelm_logic_reusing_material"]	131
134	None		(Variable["inventory.hjelm_logic_reusing_material"]) == false	130